This last year......

Well, here it is almost Christmas and for me (my first of extended life) will be a time for family and friends to get together. It has been a strange year, not one that I would have chosen for myself but in that I had no choice. And that is the way things go.You may plan for certain events to take place but the reality of the exercise is that you take what ever is thrown your way.
I have had my ups and downs, like you all, and have conceded that my life, as I know it is no longer in my court, so to speak. Family have been shocked at what has happened as likewise friends. And like so many people out there some were not sure what MND was. It is a disease that so often is confused with MS but as we know the two illnesses have separate paths.
It has been a time to get used to the fact that my legs, in all probability, will be the first to go and to that end over the last month have noticed that they are getting weaker all the time. I have had six falls, the last two only in the last week ( and on the same day ) and they could have been somewhat nasty as my left foot tried to roll forward and at the same time the knee gave way and down I went, backwards. Like my friend Moira-Anne we do these falls in such a manner that we do not hurt ourselves, and by all rights we should . My wife saw one of them happen and she said it was so graceful and almost in slow motion.
Also have had some problems with the fingers on the right hand cramping up, more so when I am on the computer. Jan and I have had several trips up the North Island to New Plymouth to see our son John and his partner Tania ( not long now to their wedding ) and her three children. We also did a family reunion down in the South Island and that really bought it home to me just how this disease affects me. The emotional roller-coaster ride that I went on the four days we had at the reunion was amazing...the tears were almost continuous. But having said that it was most likely the best time I have had since being diagnosed. And having a wonderful wife along side me sure helped.
All in all it has been a time of reflection, decision making and coming to grips with what I have. And the time for Jan has in all probability been harder for her. What with trying to run a shop almost single handed, staff problems and trying to make sure that yours truly behaves himself when she's not at home ( doing the vacuum cleaning yesterday almost killed me) is not the easiest thing to do.
So, walking, cramping and crying aside, how am I. I am at this moment in time quiet happy, calm and looking forward to a new power-chair which by the sounds of it I will have by Christmas , a wedding to go to and Tania, my daughter-in-law to be has told me I am having a dance with her on the day, that should be interesting he says with much laughter.
I still have my afternoon tea one day a week with Moira-Anne, a wonderful woman also fighting this disease.

And above all else I remain positive and look to the time ahead of me, not as something to dread but as a time to help those like myself enjoy what ever time they have with family and friends, get out into the world, if only by the Internet and to raise, somehow, peoples awareness of Motor Neurone Disease.
ENJOY YOUR CHRISTMAS AND HAVE A HAPPY NEW YEAR.....